Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
