You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
