Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
