he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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