i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
