My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
