I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
