Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
