I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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