Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
