Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
