I just pynch a tree in the face
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Can I color on your dick again?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
