Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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