If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
