Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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