Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dick very happy bro
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
