she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
