And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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