Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
