No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
