highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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