I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It's just like the Real World with babies
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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