After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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