K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
