well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
