They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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