You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
