i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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