I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She's JV to your varsity
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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