Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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