I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
