She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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