this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
