why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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