I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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