We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
