oh god the rape fog is back!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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