$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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