If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
