your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
