dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
