but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
