She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
