Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
