Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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