She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize