I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
