This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
