rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
