we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
