Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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