If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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