It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
