This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
