Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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