I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
