You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
