Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
