awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
