This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
this will be a night to untag.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
