you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
