Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
