I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
