Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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