she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
