okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
