i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize