I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
