So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
