8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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