He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
