therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
being pregnant is like rehab
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
