so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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