He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think I sprained my soul last night
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
