end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize